The darkness was a thick pool of water surrounding him, a cement block and a thin string seized his ankle holding him down, yet he wasn’t dying just … floating. He knew how he had gotten to this place. The last three faces he saw were burned into his memory a mocking sneer on each that said ‘We cannot be defeated’. The first thing he experienced in this place was anger, it raged on and on deeper and deeper. Fueled by everything that ever went wrong in his existence. The death of his precious Neferet and unborn daughter, so many defeats, and never quite getting the revenge he wanted.  A lost war, lost cause, Allies dying for a lost reason. His anger burned for months eating away leaving nothing else to rage about. The hate he felt for a certain group was smothered leaving only a few glowing coals for the three witches that left him to such a dull fate. He felt a change happening the longer he spent in the darkness. With no way to see the sun he craved its warm rays. His fingers yearned to touch the soft ground, his flesh to be wrapped in flesh. The coals popped and licked for kindle. Humanity, the stain on civilization, yet he craved it. How could he want human things when that part of him was dead? In this darkness he had time to think of this life he had made for himself, and it was all gone in one fell swoop. Neil fell silent for a long time, tried to move his leaden arms, or open his heavy eyes but he couldn’t find them. He couldn’t even find his lungs to take a breath. Feeling neither thirst nor pain. These senses he relied on, senses he needed and their absence made his being rebel. Hallucinations came as he realized that he was caged within himself. Not behind bars, no that would be to real able to keep him grounded.

“Nathan” Neferet walked up to him a smile glinting on her face as a scene played on a warm sunny morning. The air still smelled fresh from the pass of rain.
“What are you up to my beautiful?” For she was with daisy’s braided into her hair. He walked out meeting her and tucking a loose strand of blond hair behind her ear. She took his hand and pulled him along leading him down the hill to the small creek.
“Do I look like a fairy from a distant land?” She laughed peering up to see his distant look gliding over her small figure.
“more like goddess … making everything else dull in comparison.” She laughed and sat  down, and he joined taking her hand in his. She sat still for a long while watching the water, he watched her. He knew that thoughtful look playing in her soft features.
“Nathan?” He nodded to her when she looked up and met his eyes. “I want you to be happy.” He laughed and she frowned.
“But I am. How could I not with you beside me?” He caressed her cheek feeling her lean into his hand
“I meant if I die before you. I want you to be happy. If that means you re-marry-” He covered her mouth frowning deeply not liking the turn of conversation.
“ Please … please don’t talk about that.” His hand dropped and he because so still, and serious it alarmed her.
“It will happen to one of us some day. I know you would want the same for me.” She smiles a little when he nodded and frowned when he realized he did. “I just want you to know. You could love again.” She watched his pale complexion and his distant gray eyes watching the waters surface.  His hand swiped through his hair and he let out a loud breath.
“What brought this all on?” it was her turn to pale.
“Bell’s husband died in the mine. That leaves her alone in the world with no children … a-and so young!” She leaned against his shoulder her soft hair brushing against his skin. His hand rested on her head and his lips pressed to kiss her.
“He was a good man but had a bad temper…”
“Just remember my words ok?” She looked up at him her eyes burned intently. “Nathan, Ok?”  He nodded just to appease her, satisfied she smiled and grabbed his shirt collar pulling him close. “but while I am here…” He laughed and fell into her soft warm body shaping itself to his harder form.

Neil opened his eyes. His new form confusing him with all the different senses he felt. The pain was fading leaving a deeper ach he knew wasn’t part of the transformation. Neil sat up an angry harder shell of a man.
“Thank you Trix. I must go now.”  He slipped on a jacket even though he needed it no more than a rock needed fur. The figure stayed in the dark watching him only the voice gave sign that anyone else was in the room.
“There are things I should show you before you leav-”
“I’ll figure it out by myself.” A growl rumbled from the corner as he walked out onto the dark street. Utterly alone and completely aware of the thirst that burned in his throat. He opened a piece of paper with five names.

He heard himself growl with hate in reaction to the names and realized their was no point the memories played on.

Neil whipped his mouth letting the body sink to the ground. He took out the creased and wrinkled paper and with the blood still on his finger crossed off the last name. It was finished, he waited to be satisfied but it didn’t happed.
“WHY?!” He thought now the last traitor was gone that all would be set to right, the status quo would retune. Nothing felt better, nothing was soothed, and nothing would ever be back to normal. His heart just filled with more hate to balance out the disappointment.

“That’s him.” Lacey’s purple finger pointed to the tall male form with long blue hair, but his eyes were fixed on the two-elven forms. A blond and a brunette the woman’s aura shined so bright it was nearly blinding. The only thought he had was bent on destroying that kind of loyalty, happiness, that kind of sense to do right. Something like jealousy sizzled in him
“Lets get them.”

An idea entered his mind impossible he told himself. They would never consider accepting him after everything he had done to hurt them. A seed of hope planted itself into his mind. He fell silent for a year not thinking anything at all.
The monster grew restless, it raged, and fell silent.
Having nowhere to go he learned patience, peace of mind, and acceptance.
The monster let the hate go.
“Just remember my words.” this echoed through his mind over again and again.
The monster’s heart broke.












Something entered his mind he had felt it before long ago in this state, but he was to occupied to acknowledge its presence. He felt it now, and he was aware that he was no longer alone in this place. It gave him a little beam of light to follow in the dark liquid. Where it lead he had no idea but he followed it. He found a hand and reaching and grabbing it he found it real. A wrist, it struggled to be free of him and that only made him hold tighter desperate to be free.
‘Don’t leave me!’ He wanted to scream but how could he with no lungs, no lips. Swimming up the cement block no longer became an obstacle with the wrist he held onto. His lungs filled with a blood thirsting breath … a voice. His body melted and at last found his eyes opening them. Seeing his wife full of fear fighting his grasp.
“What’s wrong my love?” He closed the distance kissing her hard finding and unfamiliar mouth. As she fought disappointment filled him and he pulled back staring into angry purple eyes.
“I’m free?”